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Last days

So, some more days passed on. Nothing really exciting happened. Some down time. Some thinking time. Some catching up with friends time.
Funny to thing how things come together and/or keep popping. As if one thing is linked to the other, and like domino pieces, once one start falling, the next will fall, and so on.
Had some conversations with different people the last days. Some enlightening, some not surprising, some just nice. Glad I had them :). Several things I want to check and do with the site. Will take me some days I guess, but I'll sort them out soon.
Last, but not least. A good friend's father was diagnosed with cancer :( . Sucks.
You know I'm here for you if you need me.

Comments

K. Been a while, but now that I have a comp, I'm back on it.
You can now comment on entries. Still basic, but you're welcome to play with it, and send comments / suggestions.
Next should be voting (like/dislike), and rss feedback.
Hmmm ... and maybe members. Not sure if I'll do it though. We'll see.

The end, the party and last days

Well, as you can see, different things. Lets start with the end.

The end

So, I came back to Australia and talk to her a couple of times. She says she was fine with not seeing me anymore, that she doesn't want anything to do with me, and then that she doesn't know what to do.
From there we go on mail communication for some time. Mainly small talk.
2 Weeks ago, she wrote an angry/emotional mail. It was a surprise, and I was rather glad she did, because at least she showed some emotions, which is way better than the poker face I was getting, and the politically correct way I was being handled with.
Taking the matter seriously, I took my time while answering. ]It took me 2 days and some 6-7 pages. While I was replying, I got an sms wondering how come I didn't answer. I replied saying that I am writing an answer, and sent it the next day.
I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen, but I was quite sure I'll get some kind of response.
Next thing that happens is ... nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't hear from her. Haven't seen her. Nothing, for a week. I sent an sms after a week. No reply.
The next day, when I got back from dancing I got a short mail. "Sorry for not answering, wish you were online, don't know what to say". Felt a bit weird. If you're sorry, why didn't you answer? call? went out dancing? Anyways, I replied the mail before going to sleep, even though it was 2 in morning.
Next day she gets online on gmail chat, and I get the "maybe we should end this now, while we still have good memories". Funny, when we talked she said she has mainly bad memories, pain, and not much more.
This whole thing makes absolutely no sense to me, but I guess it's not all about me. She said she talks to her friends, which is good. Glad she has someone there for her, even if she won't speak to me.
Anyways, it ended along the lines of "Fine, i won't play nor drag it anymore, I wont answer mails nor sms".
I guess my status changed from "being ignored" to "officially being ignored".

The party

There was a big salsa party yesterday at Q1, on the gold coast.
It's a big tower, and the party was held on level 77. You can get more info about the building here.
From my experience with the gold coast salsa scene, I knew I shouldn't expect much. Luckily for me, I didn't. The place is nice, the view is good, but the salsa scene on the gold coast, stayed as it was (which is not much).
I'm not sure why. The guy teaching there is Colombian, and he teaches Colombian style, but I doubt that's the problem. It seems like they just don't know how to follow.
Luckily there were some girls from Brisbane, so I managed to get some decent dances.
Oh, managed also to get a vicious elbow to my eye during a Cuban dance. Thought I'll wake up with a nice black eye, but didn't :).

Last days

Last days were rather fine I guess. Started to watch Battlestar Galactica season 4, and so far, it's great.
Went to southbank today, to have a coffee and catch up with a friend. While I was waiting, I was sitting at the piazza and looking at random people while listening to music. The weather was rainy, and yet warm, and I just felt good in general. A couple of kids were doing some awesome tricks with footballs, solved a sudoku, had me a cappuccino, and then went couch potato :).
Waiting for a package from home, and then I'll see what's next.
Hope you're doing good. Keep in touch.

T60

I've been computerless for a while. Might not be a big deal for you, but for a highly addictive soft. eng. geek like me, it wasn't easy.
After opening some savings account I had back home, I stumbled upon a used laptop on ebay, and ended up buying it. It's a lenovo thinkpad T60. I got it with windows xp, and several problems that annoyed me.
First step, install win 7. Didn't work. Not only that it didn't work, it killed the xp too. So, no windows at all. I reinstall window xp, just to realize the system now sits on E: instead of C: and in an extended partition. WTF?
couple of days later and after some research, I try my luck again with 7. Nothing works. I manage to get Linux to boot from a cd, and reformat partitions. I go into the bios and set all settings anew. Windows 7 eventually installs :)
All happy, I put setting in bios back. Windows wont boot. Several more hours of trial and error bring the problem down to 2 settings. The sata option, and the security option. I say "fuck it", had enough for a day.
Takes several more days to get all drivers and devices to work on windows 7. Then a day more to get applications to play nice with it.
At the moment, laptop is working rather nicely, got most of the comp shit sorted, and only some minor things to take care.
One problem solved, guess there's enough to go :).

Cognitive Dissonance and last days

Cognitive Dissonance is the feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.

Since I've been dealing with many issues lately, I wanted to write about something I've been wanting to write for some time now.
The simplest example for a cognitive dissonance would be people who want to be healthy and live longer, and at the same time smoke. Logically, it doesn't make sense. So, there's an array of things they can do in order to go around the issue. I've been familiar with the term for quite a while, since I've been working translating uni students works. In order to write this, I started searching the net for definitions, explanations, and ended up reading for more than an hour on various different topics (cognitive dissonance, defense mechanism, id-ego-super ego, and some less related topics, like hazing). They say everyday you learn new things, today was full of them :).
They joke that people that study psychology are the most messed up people because they thing they have every possible problem in the book, and I must agree that reading some of the things was a bit worrying at times. Good thing I take everything with a grain on salt. It's nice to think that you know the reasons to all you're doing, but at the end, feelings and urges are not supposed to be rationalized.

Anyways, what I wanted to write about is that I've been wondering how we deal conflicting facts. For example, One of my best friends is religious. And not the "light" version, but the rather more serious one. I love him dearly as a person, but I totally disagree with his believes. I will respect them, and will go to his house and drink and eat, but it pains me that he'll never come to mine, since his views don't allow him to eat or drink in mine. So, what shall I do? just ignore them? Not be his friend? I guess the day to day solution is not to think about it, and just be his friend. Help when I can, and ask for help when I need. Knowing the fact that we are different and yet ignoring it.
There are other questions that came up lately, but I guess I'll deal with them in a less public manner.
A small example is the woman I came back for. She wrote at the end of a mail that she still reads the blog. I didn't know if she does, or doesn't. There were times I wished she did. There were times I wished she didn't. I asked myself if she'll think I'm trying to manipulate her through it. I wondered if she cares. The thing is, it doesn't really matters. I'm keeping this blog for myself. It's my way to communicate with the few people I believe that care enough to read it. It's my place to vent when I have no one else to talk to, to fool around with writting, or to tell what happened to me when I have something to tell about. So, hi there GP and all of you who read this.

Last days

Last days have been good and bad. Had a day where nothing worked out. Nothing. I was at the brink of tears most days. And then, just when I thought I'll go dancing and try to put some of that shitty mood behind me, it seems the bus got to the station before time (probably the first time ever), and I ended up waiting for half an hour, and the giving up (they pass once an hour). Just gave up and went to sleep.
Started to learn Zouk. Seems like it's time for me to get out of my comfort zone, and challenge myself again. So, dancers of the world, beware (mainly because I can't really do it at the moment, and you might end up hurting :) ).
Yesterday went to the city and to south bank with an American girl I met while dancing in Sydney. She's touring the east coast before going back home, and since Dave wasn't around and I couldn't mow the lawn, I tagged along. Ended up at southbank, swimming a bit, and getting a tan. The only thing is the spray on sunblock wasn't too well behaved, and I ended up having funny looking red and white burnings on my back. At least I can tell you that sunblock, when applied to the skin, works (if you just think you applied it, it doesn't work as well).
Tonight I'm going to have the dinner I won last week on the bachata competition, and then dance, so it should be a nice end to a shitty week. Hope next one will be better.
take care in the meanwhile :)