Blog
Rugby for Non Rugbiers
September 18th, 2011
Back to Christchurch ... Weather's cold, and I still need to go and have a look at the damage the last couple of earthquakes have done. The bits I've seen don't seem too bad so far. Still a lovely place (if just the weather wasn't so darn cold :)
Oh ... right ... rugby ... well, seems like the rugby cup is upon us. Usually, I wouldn't care a rotten rat's ass about this kind of things, but as it usually happens, one thing led to another, and I ended up watching 2 games today (well, 1 and half, but who's counting).
Being the good person I am, I decided to share with you the knowledge I gained during these 2 hours of watching the game and asking questions.
Rugby: According to my sources (I didn't check them online since have no internet), was invented in England but is currently dominated by Kiwis and Ausies.
Games watched: England Vs. Georgia (england won) & Canada Vs. France (frogies beat them beavers).
Rules: Seem simple, but I've been assured there are a plethora of them and they are nothing but simple. The bits that will get you started are:
* You can kick the ball forward, or run with it forward.
* You can pass the ball to your teammates, as long as they are behind you (WTF?!).
* No protective gear is used (read as -> kiwies and ausies are tough as nails, unlike them sissies americans).
* In order for me not to be taken to court by the fans of the game, there seem to be stricter rules on tackling (which explains the lack of protection) and some players do wear some kind of hats (gay as hell, look like swimming caps) as protection.
* What is known as touch down in football (american), is called a "Try". I tried as hard as I could to figure out why it's called a try, since they managed to score, but failed. Asking all the people present at the room didn't help. Reminds me of the story with the monkeys and the bananas on a ladder.
* The crowds in the game are fu**en weirdos. There were peopled dressed as: Gorillas, smurfs, chickens, tigers, some blue people, some white ppl (as in completely white, clothes, and makeup, not as in white man can't jump).
* The players don't look much better. They look like the sailors from pirates of the Caribbean, only bigger, meaner, and bloodier (at least at the end of the match).
* They like to lift people up to grab the ball (supposedly, they lift from the knees ...)
* They like to grab each other asses (well, at least at half time, and at the end of the game).
* When they're not grabbing ass, they seem to be holding each other balls and have they heads in their teammates asses (ok ... ok ... so they just stick the head in between two players asses, and hug their legs. Suppose to give them support, but looks a bit gay never the less :)
* Spitting. At first I thought they must get points based on the amount of spitting they do ... seems I was wrong ... They will get extra points for 4 tries or more, but still, they'll spit as if the score of the game depended on it
* Last bit of trivia, seems like Ireland won against Australia. I guess there are many drunk angry Australians looking to pick up fights with drunk happy Irish :)
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask.
Or open wikipedia.
Or watch the Telly (yes, the Telly, one of the English guys had a sign saying : "Are we on the Telly yet?". Obviously, they were).
Or go live in a desert with no internet connection where I can't disturb your peace of mind with blogs about rugby :)
Since I figured none of you will, here's why they call a try a try: clicky the linky